The Noswonky Web Log:

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Saturday, May 31 2008

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Wii Fit

Yuko has wanted to buy a Wii Fit for a while, so today we went to Domayne to buy it.

Yuko tries the Wii Fit in the shop

Yuko with Wii
Putting the batteries in

When we turned it on and tried it, it told me that I was a fat pig, but at least it said that my Wii age was 9 years below my true age. It told Yuko that she is not a fat pig and that her Wii age is also well below her true age.

Yes, the Wii Fit is very exciting indeed, as can be seen in this video...

From Message
4977 Days Ago
You are a fat pig. A lardarse

From Message
4977 Days Ago
Thank you for your support.

From Message
4975 Days Ago
No problem, any time, really.

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Friday, May 30 2008

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Feeling Rich

After recieving the cheque from Norma yesterday, Yuko felt rich (although it was just a refund of money she had already paid). So she wanted to celebrate by spending her riches at Epitome...

Yuko celebrates at Epitome

We ate, drank and made merry. Yuko even let me order Epitome's most notorious dessert.. Serious Chocolate Mud...

I asked if they had comical mud, but they only had serious

Unfortunately, it's too serious to show the actual dessert.

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Thursday, May 29 2008

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Getting Money

The saga of Yuko's bingle in the Lane Cove carpark has finally ended with the arrival of a cheque from Norma (Yuko's name for N.R.M.A.).

It was back in February that Yuko was involved in the minor Crash in which a woman in a Honda reversed into her. She did not give her licence details - just name and phone number. This caused us a big problem because NRMA charged us a $550 Excess when I picked up the car after the repair.

NRMA said they would refund the money if we could just supply the other driver's address. Then followed a series of attempts to obtain their address, including calling them (they refused to tell us), getting NRMA to call them, and converstaions with the police who said they couldn't help us.

Then, as Yuko was waiting in the NRMA office for yet another attempt, she noticed a policeman also waiting nearby. So she approached him and told her story. He agreed to help - and Yuko gave him all the information including the other driver's registration number.

Then, a few days later he called her and gave her the address. Yuko was very happy indeed, and gave me $50.

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Tuesday, May 27 2008

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Sumo Humiliation

The Sumo tournament that Yuko has been watching on N.H.K. via the satellite, ended on Sunday with a win for the Bulgarian. Yuko was very excited by this because she likes the Bulgarian.

But this was a humiliation for the Japanese in their national sport and it was deemed a big enough story to be covered today in the Sydney Morning Herald...

Red Chopstick

In the evening we took Mother to the Red Chopstick, and then to Epitome for coffee and dessert. Yuko showed Mother her Sushi photos from last Sunday and forced her to choose her favourites...

Mother looks at Yuko's sushi photos

Dessert at Epitome

From Message
A Poster
4980 Days Ago
Due to excessive comment spam, messages must await approval by the Webslave (Noswonky) before being displayed.

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Sunday, May 25 2008

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Studio Keiko

Yuko had another paying photography job today and I was employed as her assistant. The job was to photograph sushi and some portraits for Keiko's new venture - Studio Keiko.

We went to Keiko and Edwin's house in the afternoon for a three hour shoot. My job was to download each batch of shots to the laptop every time Yuko changed cameras, to ensure that we had enough good shots before dismantling the sets (or eating the sushi). I also had to sort the 700 pictures into good and less good for immediate viewing.

Yuko's equipment

Setting up for a tuna sushi shot

Making a sushi roll

Shooting portraits

Although I was not the official photographer, I tried my hand at sushi photography...

My Shshi photo (unofficial)

When the shoot was complete Keiko gave us some of the sushi to take home and eat! So we took it home and ate it.

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Saturday, May 24 2008

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Rain Gardens

We got a letter from the council saying that they are planning to install Rain Gardens in our street. I didn't know what a Rain Garden was, but according to Wikipedia...

"A rain garden is a planted depression that is designed to absorb rainwater runoff from impervious urban areas like roofs, driveways, walkways, and compacted lawn areas. This reduces rain runoff by allowing stormwater to soak into the ground (as opposed to flowing into storm drains and surface waters which causes erosion, water pollution, flooding, and diminished groundwater). Rain gardens can cut down on the amount of pollution reaching creeks and streams by up to 30%"

The letter also said, that there is a large underground stormwater pipe running along the opposite side of our street. The weight of the cars parking on the ground above the pipe has casused it to collapse along part of its length. So to stop this, they are going to build a kerb (there's no kerb now) with a footpath and cycle track. Parking along that side of the road will be banned.

A lot of cars park there whenever there is an event at St. Ignatius' College as there was today. This means we will be able to cash in by charging people exorbitant rates to park in our driveway!

Cars damaging the big pipe

Vacuum Surgery

Mother asked me to come over to look at her vaccum cleaner because it doesn't suck anymore. I confirmed that it does suck, but that the attachment was blocked preventing the sucking from getting to the carpet.

I employed the most versatile tool ever invented - the wire coathanger - and fashioned a hook to extract the obstruction. I succeeded, and sucking became fully functional again.

Fishing for the obstruction with a wire coathanger

The obstruction (Mother in background)

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Thursday, May 22 2008

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Racist Recipe

Mother found the recipe below in an old recipe book. There was no publishing date, but I estimate it was published in the early 1960's. Standards have changed slightly since then...

Recipe Book
Notable Recipe

From Message
4990 Days Ago
Idea how to make your blog useful: Why not photograph SMH such that we can read the bloody thing? Take pictures of all pages in hi-res, put in the blog, don't bother to write anything else, update daily. Coooooooool!

From Message
4990 Days Ago
Are you suggesting that the SMH is more interesting than my writings?

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Sunday, May 18 2008

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Trolley Horror

A shopping trolley tries to end it all

Second Life

Tonight I decided to enter Second Life for the first time on the off chance that it might be better than my First Life.

I chose the name Toto Quandry and made myself a body. However, I must have made an error in the process because I ended up as a woman! I then discovered how to change to a male body, but I was stuck wearing women's clothes for a while...

Me in Second Life

Later I was able to change my clothes and appearance, but I think the effects of my original female body are difficult to remove.

After my makeover

After exploring the world a bit, I suddenly started walking backwards and couldn't stop. I walked off the edge of a cliff and when I eventually stopped, I was out over the ocean hanging in the air. I was then able to turn and look in all directions,, but I couldn't walk or fly anywhere, so I logged out.

Hanging over the ocean

From Message
4992 Days Ago
you don't have to play Second Lifer to better your first life. Tic-tac-toe will suffice.

From Message
4991 Days Ago
That's a bit extreme. I was thinking I'd just sit at home and rot.

From Message
4990 Days Ago
Extreme needs require extreme solutions

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Saturday, May 17 2008

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Epitome Morning
Epitome Evening

Yuko Returns

Yuko's flight was due in this morning at 6:40am, so I had to get up early (in the dark) to go and meet her.

Early morning driving

At the airport, I went to the cafe near the exit gates and drank coffee (see photo above). I kept track of the status of Yuko's flight on the web...

Yuko' flight landed

While reading the Sydney Morning Herald web site, I noticed this apalling positioning of a Telstra advertisement. I immediately emailed it to Media Watch.

Telstra ad

Then Yuko arrived...

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Friday, May 16 2008

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Luna Park

After lunch, 1600 of us got on busses and went to Luna Park...

Arriving at Luna Park by bus

We were there for a work-related event which I can't speak about except that it looked like this...

Despite the fact that he doesn't work for us, Ray Martin hosted the event which was called XXXXXXXX The Big XXXXXXXX ...

Ray hosting something big

Marilyn was also there, despite being dead...


They also gave us popcorn. It was very exciting indeed!

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Sunday, May 11 2008

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Coffee at home

Non-Mother's Day

Today was Mother's Day. But because Yuko is currently in Japan, we celebrated Mother's Day last Sunday, Therefore, we didn't celebrate it today. However I did visit Mother at her house for lunch.

Because other people were celebrating Mother's Day, I knew that Epitome would be very crowded, so I had breakfast at home (see above).


Mother finally got her gate installed. It has been seven months since we went to buy the gate post, but it was only recently that she found a dude willing to install it and charge her an enormous fee.


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Saturday, May 10 2008

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Green Woman

Lane Cove has its fair share of loonies, eccentrics and nutters. So I was not particularly surprised to see a woman dressed as a pile of green waste...

Green Woman - or Lane Cove loony

No Through Traffic

It looks like someone went 'through', despite this sign...

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Thursday, May 8 2008

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Yuko Flies Out (again)

Yuko is on another trip to Japan. This time she's attending a reunion of some of her former work colleagues. Her flight was an early one, so we got up at 5.30am for an early morning trip to the airport.

As we reached Southern Cross Drive, the traffic slowed to a crawl and it continued like that for a long time delaying us at least 20 minutes. When we evenutally reached the cause of the chaos, we saw two ambulances, police cars and a lot of cyclists stopped on the side of the road blocking one lane. I later heard on the news that this was a road rage incident in which a driver had deliberately crashed into a group of cyclists. As I was driving, I didn't get a picture.

Rather than just dropping Yuko like last time, I went inside the terminal and we had coffee at a cafe there before Yuko went through the gate. I left the airport at about 8.15 and arrived at work only 15 minutes later than normal.

Belinda in the early morning
Last minute packing in the hallway

Arriving at the airport

Yuko at an airport cafe (Noswonky visible in the mirror)


Today I went to the restaurant formerly known as '33' to meet some of my former co-workers for lunch. There was former employee of XXXXX [Name Omitted], and current employees [Name Omitted], [Name Omitted], [Name Omitted] and [Name Omitted].

[Name Omitted] told me about a hack for Canon compact cameras which can significantly enhance their capabilities. This is very exciting indeed.

He also told the story of how he was once imprisoned by the U.S. government in a 'special room'. Except for the length of time he was detained (30 minutes), it was a story very similar to that of David Hicks.

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Sunday, May 4 2008

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Mother's Day Arrives a Week Early

Next Sunday (May 11th) is Mother's Day, but we celebrated it today instead. This was because we will not be able to celebrate it fully next week. So in the morning I decorated the house with gay balloons...

Inflating a gay balloon

Mother came to our house for lunch and we had Yuko's tempura prawns. You can't beat Yuko's tempura prawns...

Yuko's Tempura Prawns

Mother had asked for a book for Mother's day. In this video, she reads what I wrote inside the book, and then discusses her religious conversion...

After lunch we drove over to the College because Yuko wanted to take some pictures of Mother and me for possible framing.

Mother waits to be called onto the set for the photo-shoot

This was later deemed the best shot from the shoot...

Then I took Mother home while Yuko lay on the ground again...

Yuko lies on the ground

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Saturday, May 3 2008

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Recently while driving, I've heard a clicking sound coming from Mitsy. It was caused by a large metal object embedded in Mitsy's front tyre...

So early today I took Mitsy to the tyre doctor and had the object removed. They fixed the hole too and it only cost $25.


Mother has requested a specific gift for Mother's day. It's a book which she has already read (because I lent her my copy), and which has helped her to complete her long-running religious conversion.

I had tried to buy the book at several shops, but it has been out of stock (due to its popularity). I therefore decided to go to the city today to try to find it. Yuko came with me so that she could see if her mobile broadband works in the city. It did.

Yuko blogging in the QVB

I found the book at the second place I tried - Dymocks. Then we saw a cherry picker...

Cherry picker

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Thursday, May 1 2008

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At about 10am, the emergency evacuation alarm sounded at work. So we all began screaming and waving our arms in the air as we evacuated down the fire stairs and walked to our assembly point. I think only our building (one of six) was affected. It was very exciting indeed!

After standing around for a few minutes we were told we could go back to work. I assume it was a false alarm as there was no eveidence that a real emergency had occurred, but there was no announcement about it.

People returning to work

Later I told the story to Yuko while drinking beer at Taiki...

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