The Noswonky Web Log:

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Friday, November 30 2007

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The Artist

Mother's major artwork is progressing. I suspect it may be an abstract piece...

Artwork in progress

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Thursday, November 29 2007

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Today Yuko bought a planner, so she had to do some planning...


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Sunday, November 25 2007

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I saw a lizard...


Red Chopstick

In the evening, we went to Red Chopstick - the Vietnamese restaurant at Lane Cove.

Red Chopstick

It was a warm night and we sat right next to the big windows which were wide open to the night. While we were eating a dude climbed up a ladder onto the ledge right next to us and erected the Merry Christmas sign. We were right next to the "M" with the antlers. It was so close that I reached my hand out and touched it.


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Saturday, November 24 2007

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Election Day

Today, the voters of Australia decide. The candidates...

Name Election
Sucks up to Main
Howard 4 / 1 Americans Incumbent Incumbent
Rudd 0 / 0 Chinese Non-incumbent Non-incumbent

Yuko has only voted once in her life, and that was when someone paid her to vote for a particular candidate - a wonderful example of democracy and capitalism working together for the benefit of the ordinary citizen. Unfortunately Yuko is not eligible to vote in Australia, so she missed out on making a profit today.

I went and picked Mother up around lunch time and we went voting. Mother made a political statement by wearing her white shoes...

White shoes - a hint to Mother's political leanings?

Our local member is the Minister for Industrial Relations, Joe Hockey. Last night I received a phone call from him. He first apologised for calling me at home, but said that there was some important information I needed to know - that Kevin Rudd is a bastard.

(This call can be heard in the accompanying video)

I also got a call from a real person, who said there was some important information I needed to know - that John Howard is a bastard.

When we arrived at the polling place, we were confronted by some informational posters which said "Joe Hockey Joe Hockey Joe Hockey Joe Hockey Joe Hockey Joe Hockey Joe Hockey" - or words to that effect - a powerful message indeed! However I doubt that it influenced Mother's vote.

Hockey's Labor opponent is Mike Bailey, who has no chance despite being an expert on the weather.

Loser - but knows about rain and stuff

As usual, the people standing outside the polling place tried to thrust pieces of paper into our hands. Mother and I adopt different techniques in dealing with this. Mother takes a pamphlet from everyone, thus not revealing her political allegiances. I on the other hand refuse to take any.

When the counting started, the result became clear within about two hours and the Silver Bodgie was exhibiting subdued elation...

Bob Hawke sticks it to Brendan Nelson on Sky News

It was also looking like the Prime Minister might lose his seat of Bennelong. We used to be in Bennelong, but changes to the boundaries put us into North Sydney a few years ago. This is Mother's only great disappointment at this election - that she didn't get to vote in Bennelong.

Likely Winner

And the result...

God Save The Queen!

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Friday, November 23 2007

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Noswonky's Most Exciting Moments - No. 4 - The Kookaburra

Now you can watch all of Noswonky's Most Exciting Moments with just one click!

The Artist

Mother has been painting tiny pictures on greeting cards for a while, but recently she was given a real canvas and so she has to do a full size painting. She therefore asked me to take some photos of scenes that she might be able to paint. So I did. I printed a few on A4 paper and gave them to her to consider.

Mother considers one of my pictures


We went to Epitome for dinner and took some of the wine we bought at Diver's Luck in Nelson Bay.

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Monday, November 19 2007

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New Job

Today I started my new job - a six month contract at North Ryde. Technically it's Macquarie Park, but that's too scary to think about, so I call it North Ryde.

Since the last time I commuted regularly to North Ryde, the Lane Cove Tunnel has opened. The difference was immediately clear - total gridlock on Epping road...

On the way to work, I saw some familiar sights...


Meanwhile, the writings of Noswonky reached a wider audience today in the Sydney Morning Herald...

Letters Page
Noswonky's Commentary


In the evening we went to Maroo where Yuko wore a funny hat.

From Message
Laughing Mole
5158 Days Ago
I too am working in North Ryde ... but I haven't seen you about.

From Message
5158 Days Ago
Perhaps it's because I've been shunning public appearances.

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Sunday, November 18 2007

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The politicians are swarming! What could be the reason?

Joe Hockey comes to Lane Cove (every three years)


Today we upgraded our garbage system. It was very exciting to dispose of garbage in luxury...

Yuko with our new garbage system

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Friday, November 16 2007

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Noswonkys Go South - Part 1

Today we packed up our meagre belongings and dropped off the unit keys at the agent's office. But before returning south to civilisation, we went to Michel's as usual. The newspaper had a dire prediction for our fearless leader. Mother will be very happy...

Yuko at Michel's

While at Michel's, I checked my email and learned that my new employment contract is ready for signing. So I arranged a meeting for the afternoon for this purpose.

The Signing

After arriving back in dandy Riverview, I drove into the city to sign the contract. While there, I saw that the Martin Place Christmas tree had been erected and was still undergoing work in preparation for Christmas.

The tree is in a different place from usual - at the Pitt Street end rather than the George Street end of Martin Place.


After signing the contract, I was caught in a carbon-emitter's paradise - gridlock in Kent Street. At least I saw two buggies on the way home...

Buggy 1
Buggy 2

From Message
A Poster
3549 Days Ago
Due to excessive comment spam, messages must await approval by the Webslave (Noswonky) before being displayed.

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Thursday, November 15 2007

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Noswonkys Go North - Part 6


There are several wireless networks available in the centre of town. We have been connecting to the Anyport one which costs $25 for 7 days with a 100Mb limit. Surprisingly, it allows both of us to login and access the Internet at the same time.

Networks visible from Michel's
Computing at Michel's

After breakfast we normally return briefly to our unit and apply protection from radiation. I particularly need to protect my woosy-white feet.

Radiation protection
Yuko, scantily clad on the balcony

It's not uncommon for Yuko to become aggressive and try to stab me. Fortunately, today she had no knife...

Attempted stabbing

Gan Gan

We decided to go to a winery. But on the way I spotted another attraction that looked like it might be interesting. I followed the signs...

Informative sign

We parked Belinda near the sign and walked to Gan Gan Lookout where we looked out...

Belinda parked near the sign

We looked out and saw this

Diver's Luck

We resumed our quest to find a winery called Wanganella which was marked on our tourist map. However, we had great difficulty finding it and after driving back and forth along the road a couple of times, we eventually gave up and went to another winery that we noticed on the side of the road.

The Diver's Luck Winery

Our visit to Diver's Luck turned out to be the most interesting experience of our time in Nelson Bay.

Part of the vineyard

We tasted some wine at the cellar door and purchased four bottles.

In the process we met Lee and Mental.

Apparently the dude who founded the winery was an abalone diver - hence the name Diver's Luck. Lee is also a diver and was at the winery today because it was his day off. He dives for sea urchins and wanted to know the Japanese name for them. So Yuko taught him to pronounce 'Uni'. He wrote it on his hand as 'OO-NY'...

Diver Lee getting a Japanese pronunciation lesson

He then became very excited when Yuko offered to take some pictures of his dog Mental...

Lee and Mental are photographed by Yuko

Lee also told us that his ex-wife is married to a prominent politician (whom he named) and he is currently writing a book about corruption in the Labor party which relates to that politician.

I declined to reveal my political leanings.


In the evening we bought take-away Thai food and ate it on our private balcony. You can't beat that!

Thai Food

Night Computing

Then we took turns at outdoor computing...

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Wednesday, November 14 2007

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Noswonkys Go North - Part 5


It's tough living in this primitive accommodation. At least it provides us shelter from the elements...

Yuko hangs out in the children's room...


We went up a big hill to a place that was marked on the map as a lighthouse. There, we found a lighthouse house, but no lighthouse...

Lighthouse house

There were also some dudes sitting in a water tank (visible above) which was like an air-traffic control tower for boats...

Boat traffic control

There was also a lighthouse cafe, which you can't beat...

Lighthouse cafe

Another Beach

We went to Zenith Beach which is a relatively isolated ocean beach. Yuko wanted to perform illegal acts, but was again thwarted by the prevailing conditions. Instead she took pictures of water and rocks...

Water and rocks



Then we ate corn and drank beer on our balcony. You can't beat that!

Corn and beer

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Tuesday, November 13 2007

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Noswonkys Go North - Part 4


Each morning we have breakfast at Michel's in the centre of town. Although we would like to try another place occasionally, Yuko doesn't want to risk not having a wireless Internet connection!


We made a great leap forward today - we located the 'Garbage Room', and now after four days in Nelson Bay, we are at last able to dispose of our garbage...

Tea Garden at Tea Gardens

Then, it was time to go to Tea Gardens by ferry.

The ferry on arrival at Tea Gardens

At Tea Gardens there are pelicans, and the dogs dress differently...

I had assumed that Tea Gardens was named after a dude - someone with a name like 'Sir Winston Tea Gardens', and so did not expect there to be tea gardens there. But there were, and we went to one...

Yuko in a tea garden
Noswonky in a tea garden

Then we returned on the ferry.

On the return trip we sighted a pod of dolphins which generated a lot of excitement amongst the passengers.

This is a cropped-captured frame from a video


In the evening we located and consumed the best garlic bread we have found in our short pathetic lives...

Good bread

From Message
5166 Days Ago
why are you saying your life is not short and pathetic? it is long and pathetic.

From Message
5166 Days Ago

From Message
5160 Days Ago
Short from a cosmic perspective.

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Monday, November 12 2007

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Noswonkys Go North - Part 3


The day began with excitement when we found a stick insect on our door...

Stick Insect

Then we found a fish shop run by a guy with an appropriate name...

Big Beach

Yuko on the big beach

We went to Stockton Beach because Yuko wanted to perform some illegal acts which I can't mention here. However, here's a clue...

Fortunately, she was unable to perform the aforementioned illegal acts because of the prevailing conditions. Instead, she just took photos...

As we walked along the beach a 4WD bus came along and dropped of a load of Korean tourists on the sand. By their behaviour, we think they were there to perform the same aforementioned illegal acts...

Korean Tourists act suspiciously

We then went to a cafe overlooking the beach, where they gave us a star...


Tiny Beach

After being unsuccessful at the big ocean beach, we then went to a tiny beach in the bay. I was disappointed that I was not allowed to chop down some trees for firewood and had to leave my axe in the car...

We found some dead fish lying on the shore and Yuko used them to feed the pelicans. This exciting event is depicted in the accompanying video.

Dead Fish



For dinner we went to Depz which is a restaurant with a name that I don't know how to pronounce. I therefore pronounced it "Depz".


One of the restaurant staff took this picture

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Sunday, November 11 2007

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Noswonkys Go North - Part 2

Soon after arriving in Nelson Bay, we were made to feel welcome...

Belinda looked lonely after spending the night in the unit car park...

We had breakfast at Michel's, where we connected to a wireless network and blogged...

There was a display of old cars...

We went to Fingal Bay, where there is a beach and an island connected to it by a sandy spit. I was going to walk across the spit, until I saw a sign which I interpreted as meaning: "If you walk across the spit, you're likely to be swept to your death. Have a great day!"


Yuko walks across the spit

For dinner we went to The Hog's Breath. We used to go to the Hog at Collaroy, which was located near the Hob Nob Yuko therefore has a tendency to confuse them, referring to it as Hog Nob.

The Hog

We then retired to our cushy apartment and gazed upon the waters from on high...

And the video...

In part 2, the Noswonkys connect to the Internet, see a buggy and consume large amounts of alcohol. Then they wander into the sea and get wet. Later, corn is discussed in depth.

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Saturday, November 10 2007

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Noswonkys Go North - Part 1

This morning, instead of going to Epitome, I made breakfast...


This was because we were leaving Sydney this morning for a few days. Our destination was Nelson Bay.


We are staying in a holiday unit overlooking the bay...

Our building

Inside the unit

Soon after arrival in Nelson Bay, we found an Internet Cafe...


In the evening, we went to a Thai restaurant. The food was good, but not as good as Hob Nob. Interestingly, the staff all appeared to be woosy-white skinned Australians.


Later, Yuko cooked corn...


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Friday, November 9 2007

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Unemployment - Day 2


The good thing about being unemployed is that we can go to Epitome...

Yuko at Epitome

Analytical Models

After Epitome, I went over to my former place of work - Analytical Models - to return the network switch that I recently found in my car. Now that I have returned it, I hope any legal action against me will be abandoned.

I took some pictures of my former co-workers in the office, and then five of us then went out to lunch. We mainly talked about XXX XXXX and women.

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Wednesday, November 7 2007

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Day of Drinking

My six-month contract at XXXXXXXXX XXXX ended today. My colleagues and I went out for a lunch to commemorate the occasion at Le Chifley, which my team leader repeatedly refered to as The Chiefley. He's so un-Australian!

Le Chifley


Then there was more drinking after work when a slightly larger group went to The Vault...

I will now take a week-and-a-bit break before starting another six-month contract at a well known company located at North Ryde.

From Message
5179 Days Ago
North Ryde? We should go for lunch while u r there...

From Message
5179 Days Ago
Yes, indeed! But do I have to pay again?

From Message
5179 Days Ago
I believe you owe me 2 lunches interest anyway!

From Message
5178 Days Ago
I don't remember an interest rate being applicable, but I might still owe you one lunch. How about some time in January?

From Message
5175 Days Ago
Japan out there hunting 50 humpbacks.

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Tuesday, November 6 2007

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Horse Flew

It was a day of binge gambling...

In Martin Place, people queue to give up their money.

I picked Efficient in an office sweep. My horse flew and took out the number one position in the big race, paying me $21 for a $2 investment.

Unfortunately, I also squandered another $22 on four other less rapid equines, thus reducing my profit to -$3.

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Monday, November 5 2007

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Yuko Returns

Today Yuko returned from Japan.

Yuko, having returned from Japan

She brought me back a stash of goodies...

Goodies from Japan

Everything is smaller in Japan...

Japanese Toothpaste

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Sunday, November 4 2007

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Noswonky's Most Exciting Moments - No. 3 - Feeding the Fish

While Yuko is in Japan, it is my responsibility to feed the fish...


Yuko is still in Japan, so Mother and I went to see the movie Death at a Funeral. It's the story of a funeral which doesn't go well. We both liked it.

After the movie, we had dinner at peppercorn@cremorne

Mother at Peppercorn

I was interested to see that they have live duck on the menu...

However, we both opted for seafood.

From Message
5183 Days Ago
Why are you boiling the fish? Are you going to eat it after you feed it?

From Message
5181 Days Ago
Japanese are enthusiastic fish eaters, so anything is possible!

From Message
A Poster
3549 Days Ago
Due to excessive comment spam, messages must await approval by the Webslave (Noswonky) before being displayed.

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Saturday, November 3 2007

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Our local member for the federal election is the man pictured below. I asked Mother whether the fact that he has yellow balloons will change her vote. But it won't!

Hockey - The candidate with yellow balloons

Mother's Crash

A couple of weeks ago, Mother's car got smashed by a bastard in the Lane Cove carpark. Mother's car was stopped, and she was preparing to move off, when a bastard reversed quickly out of a space opposite and crashed into the drivers' side door of Mother's car. There was not much damage, but enough to warrant an insurance claim. Today, I drove over to the repairer with her so she could drop her car there.

Mother ready to be driven home

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Thursday, November 1 2007

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Noswonky's Most Exciting Moments - No. 2 - Interviewing the Leaders

Today I interviewed the two candidates for Prime Minister in the coming election. Mr. Howard, being aware of the vast audience reach of, took the opportunity to make a major tax policy announcement, while Mr. Rudd was forced to deny copying the government's donut policy...


My former employer Cochlear, is in the news again. They are accused of forcing employees to speak only English. Certainly, when I worked there I only spoke English!

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