The Noswonky Web Log:

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Wednesday, May 30 2007

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Drooling Over Cars

In Martin Place today, I witnessed the pathetic sight of hoards of men drooling over cars.

Men drooling over a yellow car
Men drooling over a red car

Personally I prefer a buggy...


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Sunday, May 27 2007

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Collaroy Deck

Today we took Mother to The Deck at Collaroy for Lunch. Often when we go there, it's very windy and the experience is not up to our expectations. But today there was no wind and the weather was perfect for lazing on the deck.

The Deck

Water Police

While out walking in the afternoon, I was passing Mother's house and saw her outside watering. I checked the time to see if she was acting illegally (watering is only allowed after 4pm on Sunday afternoon). Fortunately for her, it was after 4pm and I didn't have to report her to the water police...

Mother - nervous but legal

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Saturday, May 26 2007

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LOTLWS (Part 6)

Land of the Long White Sheep (Part 6) has finally finished post-production. This is the most terrifying episode so far...

Head Formation

Now that I'm a real web developer, I need to be sure that my head is not malformed. So I welcome the availability of these vital accessories...

Million Dollar Suburb

Today's paper had a list of the suburbs where the median house price is over $1 Million. We made the list! But of course that doesn't mean much about the value of our house.


The List


Yuko is becoming more and more Australian every day...


And I saw a buggy...

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Friday, May 25 2007

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In the evening we went to Epitome. I ate garlic bread while Yuko sang...

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Wednesday, May 23 2007

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Photo Shoot II

Back in March, we had a Photo Shoot at Sabino's studio beside the water at Balmain.

Tonight we finally got to see the photos. We went to Sabino's studio at about 7.30pm and looked through about 120 shots on his huge Apple Mac screen...

Big Mac
Looking at Photos

We took about 90 minutes to cull them to 17 shots, which Sabino will print and place in an album.

Thai and Bich

By the time we left Sabino's studio, it was almost 9:30pm and we were hungry. On Sabino's recommendation, we went to a Thai restaurant at Balmain. He said it was called Nods, but the only one at the location he specified was called Thai Sugar. But it was adequate.

But the restaurant a few doors along had a much better name...

From Message
anonymous luncher
5330 Days Ago
you should have tried nood (between bitch and sugar)

From Message
5330 Days Ago
Well, as Sabino had recommended "Nods", we theorised that he had actually meant "Nood".

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Saturday, May 19 2007

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Yuko Gets Lost

Now that Yuko is a member of Chatswood R.S.L. Club, she wants to be able to drive there alone. So yesterday when we went there I taught Yuko a good route to take.

Today, she tried driving there alone, and she succeeded! But when she tried to get home, there was a problem. I got a call at about 3pm. She had taken a wrong turn and was lost in a side street somewhere at Artarmon. I jumped in my car and went looking for her. When I found her she followed my home...

Yuko lost in a side street


In the evening, we went to Maroo with Mother...

Mother at Maroo

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Saturday, May 19 2007

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Carbon Emitters

I went down to the woods today, and I saw a sign...

But it was the woods themselves that had dematerialised...

Carbon, returned to the atmosphere

Unlikely Member

Yuko has joined Chatswood RSL Club. We went there today and drank coffee, while being careful not to mention the war. Actually, Yuko might have mentioned it once, but I think she got away with it.

Yuko at the RSL

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Friday, May 18 2007

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Working in the City

This is what it's like working in the city...

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Thursday, May 17 2007

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Fog II

Today, another misty fog blanketed the city like a blanket. Exiting the Harbour Tunnel, the appearance of the city was markedly different from that of a normal day...

Normal Day


In Martin Place, there was a big headless, armless legless torso. I guess that's what a torso is.



In the evening, Yuko came to the city to meet me after work and we went to the Arthouse Hotel restaurant. It's located in the Victoria Galleries building. It was adequate and not at all crowded.

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Monday, May 14 2007

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Today, a misty fog blanketed the city like a blanket...

Fog on the Gore

Bridge - hid in mist

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Sunday, May 13 2007

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Mother's Day

In the morning, we went to Mother's house and said Happy Mother's Day! She gleefully unwrapped her presents...

Then we went to North Sydney to meet the Scott family for lunch at the Black Stump. It was surprisingly quiet for Mother's day...

Russell, Betty, Bruce at the Black Stump

Black Stump Food

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Wednesday, May 9 2007

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New Job

On Monday I started my new job at XXX XXX XXXX in the City. On my first day, Yuko took my picture as I left for work...

Working in the city means that there is a vast array of possibilities when in comes to coffee drinking.

Martin Place - Coffee Central

Tonight Yuko came to the city to meet me after work and celebrate the end of my first three days.

We met at The Cenotaph in Martin Place and went to a Japanese restaurant in O'Connell Street, which Yuko had been to before, but I had not.

I don't remember it's name, but it was adequate. Near the door was a stack of the Japanese magazines Japaralia containing Yuko's photos from her photography job in Brisbane.

The Cenotaph


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Saturday, May 5 2007

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Sex with a 100 Year Old Man

In this special supplement video from Land of the Long White Sheep, Yuko tells the story of why her friend had sex with a 100 year old man...

Sex with a Hundred Year Old Man

Last Day in Sheep Land

For the last time, we wandered the streets of Christchurch. But things were different today because it's the weekend and lots of stuff happens that doesn't happen on a weekday.

It's the day that the statues take a break...

A statue on his day off

And the power stations run at half capacity...

Christchurch Power Station

We decided to take a punt... that's what they call it. I would call it a gondola - like they have in Venice - but they call it a punt.

The downstream phase was uneventful, but on the upstream phase, we wondered whether the punt man was capable of getting us back alive. He was fighting against the current, and occasionally we hit the bottom as the water was very shallow. Fortunately, we made it back...

View from the punt
Nowonkys Punting

Then we saw some art. First on the road, and then at the Arts Centre.

Girl and Dog on the road

Arts Centre

There, we saw some high art...

High Art

And drank coffee in a high cafe.

Back to the West Island

Our flight back to the West Island was at 4pm, so we started making our way to the airport at about 1.30pm. We returned our car, checked in, and drank more coffee.

When we went through the metal detectors, we both had problems. The thing lit up like a Christmas tree when I went through as my body was covered in a multitude of metal objects. I had to hold my arms in the air as they ran the hand-held detector over me and stripped me of objects one-by-one.

When I finally got through, I noticed that Yuko was also being searched and was being told to assume the position! But amazingly, they let her through too.

Then Yuko had to do some duty free shopping because she had some vouchers from a previous trip that she had to spend at a particular shop. By the time we got near the gate, they were paging us to board the flight immediately! We regard this as perfect timing.

On the plane, we were seated right at one of the emergency exits (not the regular door), so I received some individual instructions on what to do if we crashed. I was glad that I would be first out if we crashed, but the disadvantage of sitting at the exit is that the window has no blind. I assume this is so that you can always see out to check for fire outside before opening the door.

Yuko computing on the plane

Leaving the South Island
The West Island comes into view

We didn't crash. Instead we landed normally and took a taxi home. Amazingly, our fish were still alive!

From Message
arse my name
5333 Days Ago
Are you the 100 year old man?

From Message
5332 Days Ago
It's my ambition.

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Friday, May 4 2007

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Christchurch Coffee
Big Lyttelton Coffee

Land of the Long White Sheep (Part 5)

More Christchurch


Yuko never stops taking pictures, even when dressed inappropriately...

Note lesbians on wall

After breakfast in the heart of Christchurch, we wandered about aimlessly. Then we decided that walking sucked and so we jumped on a tram. Unfortunately, we we not able to speak to the motorman due to the restrictions in place...

Yuko in a tram
We didn't speak to the Motorman

There's a cafe in the centre of town that looks remarkably like a cathedral...

The Cathedral Cafe

In Cathedral Square Yuko bought another expensive coat at an outdoor market. The woman who sold it to her was wearing a leather hat, which Yuko tried on...

Leather Hat

Wildlife and Big Coffee

In the afternoon we drove to Lyttelton to take a Wildlife Cruise. On such a cruise, they take you out to where the dolphins and other sea creatures frolic, and one watches them frolic.

The Vessel

The sea was angry today... and we were a bit unlucky to pick a cruise which was almost booked out by a large group of Thai school children and their teachers. They we quite noisy at first, but after about 30 minutes on the water they calmed down considerably.

My arm and the angry sea

As we got to the outer reaches of Lyttelton Harbour, several people on the boat began to spew, vomit and puke! As it turned out, the vomit episode was the most interesting part of the cruise because the wildlife chose not to frolic today! Well... we did see some seaweed floating in the water... which I guess is alive and wild...

Not spewing

On our return from the freezing waters of the near-Antarctic, to the relative civilisation of the tiny town of Lyttelton, we were in need of warming, and had coffee at a cafe in the building pictured below. There, I had the biggest cup of coffee of my life (so far). The cup I refer to is pictured at the top of this entry. The picture does not convey adequately the true enormity of the coffee vessel - but that's a dessert spoon on the saucer.

On the wall in the cafe were many old pictures of the town, including one of the very building in which we found ourselves. We later took our own picture of the building for comparison...

Cafe in 1939
Cafe in 2007


In the evening we ventured back into the city for dinner at an expensive restaurant...

Dinner at an expensive restaurant

We also saw some night-sights including a group of Hare-Krishnas rampaging through the streets playing music and handing out an unknown food - which we ate (This incident will probably appear in Part 6 of the Video).

Bridge of Remembrance


For the first time during our trip, we managed to get an Internet connection in our hotel room. For $6.00, you can purchase a password to access the hotel's wireless Internet hot-spot. The connection only lasts 30 minutes however.

We bought two passwords and then we each had a 30 minute session. During my session I was Skyped by a former co-worker from Analytical Models who asked me for a report on the Sheep situation in NZ.

Internet Hot-spot

From Message
Laughing Mole
5354 Days Ago
It's always good to see an angry sea.

From Message
5354 Days Ago
You can't beat it!

PS: Bought a share recently?

From Message
Laughing Mole
5351 Days Ago
No - I already had a share I'd bought last year but it was going down, so I sold it last week. I think I will buy a share in some other company now.

From Message
5351 Days Ago
Well... don't forget to send me a picture of your dividend cheque.

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Thursday, May 3 2007

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Yuko and the Christchurch sky...


On our first full day in Christchurch, we ventured into the city to find some breakfast. Being from Sydney, our first shock was the price of parking. I mean... they could move the decimal point one place to the right and it would still seem cheap to us!

The shocking price of parking in Christchurch

We wandered around and found a place to have breakfast. It was called The Bog - an Irish pub.

The Bog

We then saw some of the sights in the centre of Christchurch...

Big Chess

Yuko with the Town Crier


Christchurch has a gondola. When I suggested to Yuko that we ride the gondola, she thought it was a boat (like in Venice), but it's actually the other kind.

Before boarding the gondola you have to place your feet in exactly the right position, otherwise catastrophe may befall you....

Correct foot placement

The Gondola

The gondola took us to the top of a mountain, where we gazed on the city of Christchurch.

Noswonkys over Christchurch


From the mountain, we could see the port town of Lyttelton. So after descending, we decided to drive there to have a closer look, and to book a place on tomorrow's Wildlife Cruise. However, we discovered that Lyttelton is a strange place.

We saw a giant robot made of cardboard boxes...

Cardboard Robot

And a headless dummy suspended high in the air...

Headless Dummy

And in the supermarket, this notice...

Lost Hen Notice

But there were normal things too...

How Men Work in New Zealand?

We will return to this bizarre town tomorrow to take a cruise.


The thing that distinguishes this motel from the others we've stayed at, and the reason Yuko likes it, is that it has wireless Internet!

However, when we tried it, we were unable to get a signal in our room. This was probably because our room is in a building separate from the main building. So we went to the lobby in the main building and had no difficulty connecting.

The public Internet facilities we've seen in NZ have tended to be expensive. This was the cheapest so far - $6.00 for 30 minutes.

Yuko online in the lobby

For dinner we ventured into town and found a Korean restaurant where they offered a Meet Plate. We didn't oder this enticing dish, which I imagine involves meeting the food before eating the food.

The restaurant, and most others in the area was deserted, presumably because the centre of town is frequented by gangs of rampaging teenagers dressed in black and looking threatening.

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Wednesday, May 2 2007

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In today's video, we drive from Mt. Cook to Christchurch, but nothing really happens, and you don't get to see anything much...

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Wednesday, May 2 2007

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We spent most of today driving from Mount Cook to Christchurch and it rained all the way.

Today's route...

Todays weather...

Today's road...

Today's signs...

We stopped to drink coffee at a place called Geraldine.


We reached the outskirts of Christchurch at about 5pm and being a weekday, that put us right in the afternoon peak hour traffic.


We had no accommodation booked, so we just made our way to a seedy part of town and asked if there was room at the inn. There was. So we ate, drank and were merry...

Yuko being merry in the hotel restaurant

Then we set up out mobile data centre...

The Noswonky IT department

From Message
A Poster
3549 Days Ago
Due to excessive comment spam, messages must await approval by the Webslave (Noswonky) before being displayed.

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Tuesday, May 1 2007

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Mount Cook

Our only full day at Mount Cook was rainy and foggy. The snowy mountain, which we assume must be Mount Cook, was not visible all day due to the fog. But we managed to fit in two epic treks between rain periods.

First, Yuko took advantage of the Japanese food available as part of the buffet breakfast at the hotel. There are a lot of Japanese tourists here!

Japanese Food

Then we investigated the hotel's Internet facilities. They have a few computers with coin-operated Internet activation. It costs $2.00 for 8 minutes. We both checked our email and I sent a sheep report to one of my former co-workers.

Internet Facilities


For our first trek, we went to the Tasman Valley - a short drive from the hotel.

The Tasman Valley

We reached a point where the road ended and we had to proceed on foot to the summit of a small mountain. There we saw the terminal lake of the Tasman Glacier with big chunks of ice floating in it. The glacier itself was hard to see, and I'm not sure if we saw it or not. Even the sign displayed there said "Where's the Glacier", and after reading it, I still didn't know where the glacier was!


Tasman Glacier Terminal Lake

We also saw The Blue Lake...

Blue Lake (actually green puddle)


Then, as we returned to the hotel it began to rain, so we relaxed by the log fire for a while.


But the rain subsided, so in the afternoon we drove to the Hooker Valley. There was another glacier (The Hooker) to see, but the walk was too long for us and we wimped out. However, we did see a monument to those who had gone before us and died, and we crossed as scary bridge...



Duck in our Room

When we finally returned to our motel, a duck came into our room. During the duck incursion, Yuko filled a 2GB memory card taking pictures! This incident is best seen in the video (near the end).

The duck which came into our room

Finally, we had dinner at the only other restaurant in the village - basically a pub with dead animals on the wall. But the food was better than at the hotel!

Dead Animals

Land of the Long White Sheep (Part 3)

And now... the video...

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