The Noswonky Web Log:

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If you came here looking for Fat Naked Twin Sisters, click here - but expect to be disappointed.

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Monday, January 31st 2005

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This is not from the coffee truck

Nut Roach

The Quail salad (without quail) from last night included pine-nuts as a key ingredient. However, Yuko left the pine-nut packet unsealed last night. This morning I noticed this in the packet...

I sealed the bag with tape to keep the visitor from leaving. However, after breakfast he was gone! My sealing of the bag must have been sub-standard. I gave Yuko the job of hunting down and capturing the errant insect while I was at work, but unfortunately she was not successful.


Today, a student from UNSW started in our department on a six month placement. His name is [Name Omitted]. He looked strangely familiar to me.

The Student

Of course we went out at lunchtime to celebrate his first day. I recommended Epitome to [Name Omitted] and [Name Omitted] and it was not too hot to sit outside. Today's coffee picture (above) is from the lunchtime outing. We discussed fake Japanese restaurants and bus routes and what a bastard Lllleyton Hewitt is. We then paid using Australian currency...

On returning to work we squeezed in a game of table tennis. [Name Omitted] claimed to have limited experience but he was using a bit of spin here and there, suggesting that he might be dangerous after a bit more practice.

Debt Collection

Mother called today and tried to convince me that she had actually placed her money on Safin. I told her I'd be sending a debt collector around to help her to see things differently.

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Sunday, January 30th 2005

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Balmain (again)

We went to Balmain yet again. However, this time Yuko drove there for the first time. She should now be able to drive to Keiko's house on her own on Wednesday.

A happy driver after a successful mission


Mother came for dinner. Yuko made quail salad like the one she had at Bardeli's. The only difference being that she used ham instead of quail.

Quail salad without quail


The Australian Open final started while we were having dinner and we watched a bit of it. I was hoping to see Lllllleyton Hewitt lose, because I think he's a bastard. Mother also thinks he's a bastard but was nevertheless hoping for him to win. We therefore put our money on the table. I put my dollar on the magnificent Russian tennis god, Marat Safin.

Later, after Mother went home, Lllllllleyton got what he deserves...

...and I won a dollar!

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Saturday, January 29th 2005

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Teriyaki Boy

We went to Balmain again so that Yuko could become familiar with the route to Keiko's house.

The location of Balmain


While in the area we decided to go to Teriyaki Boy.

Teriyaki Boy

We sat carefully next to a step...

They gave us these little bowls of things that looked like corn flakes.

The food was adequate (better than Sushi Man), and at least some of the staff were actually Japanese. However, Yuko spoke English with them, just to be on the safe side.

Meanwhile, a huge animal watched us through the window.

After dinner we spotted the "Chicken Car" in the streets of Balmain.

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Friday, January 28th 2005

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Today is the Noswonkys' twelfth anniversary! To celebrate, we went to Bardeli's...

Bardeli's at Woolwich


Main course

Yuko ordered Quail Salad which is what she had last time. On that occasion, she photographed it, and has since tried to cook it herself twice, so she is very familiar with the dish. However, tonight she thought it was different. She mentioned this to the waiter and also told him that it was better last time. The waiter said he would ask the chef about it. Later, the waiter came back and said that the chef admitted that it was different because he was missing some ingredients. Then, when the waitress brought the dessert, she said "your coffee and dessert are compliments of the chef".

Free sticky date pudding


I missed the coffee truck due to work! However, they sent another truck to suck the blood out of Cochlear employees...

Blood suck truck

Later, the workers replenished their strength with beer...

Beer now... and always!

Here is a typical Cochlear employee...

Medical device industry current best practice

This particular employee, after consuming a moderate amount of alcohol, related the story of the time he was in the clean room and lost control of a scalpel. It flew through the air and almost impaled part of his anatomy.

Worker indicates the path of the airborne scalpel with his right hand

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Thursday, January 27th 2005

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The coffee truck did not appear today. I may have to hire some goons to rectify this situation.


It was another [Expletive Deleted] brutal [Expletive Deleted] day [Expletive Deleted]-ing with Micro-[Expletive Deleted]-Soft tools.

A couple of games of TT were squeezed in.

Mitsy Injured

I drove Mitsy into a pole in the supermarket carpark. This caused a non-fatal injury...


Poor Mitsy!

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Wednesday, January 26th 2005

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On this day in 1788, the British waged war against the native people of the land mass later to be known as Australia. After about an ten minutes, the continent was in the possession of British forces and a flag, similar to the top-left bit of the flag above, was raised.

Nosworthy Honoured with AO

Congratulations to Elizabeth Nosworthy - Officer of the Order of Australia For service to business through contributions to major development, energy and infrastructure projects, to the legal profession, particularly in the area of legal education, and to the community.


The owner of Epitome took our picture.

The guy in the background has two laptops!

The Shopping Trip


We took Mother shopping to buy a new microwave. But first, we dropped in on Marie so that Mother could give her a birthday present.

On Marie's gate we encountered this...

I therefore kept my camera holstered. However, another member of our party flouted the prohibition and obtained a number of images including this one...

Origami Elephant


We continued to Kmart at Chatswood and Mother purchased a device.

Then she shouted us coffee and tarts.

Hot Water

Later, Mother was able to heat water.

Mother drinks the water she has just heated

Sign Mutilation

The street sign across the road from Mother's house has yet again been subjected to the wrath of hoons...


As Yuko blogged on, I cycled off...

In my travels I ventured into an area dominated by big, black birds.

Hitchcockinan moment

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Tuesday, January 25th 2005

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Torture by Microsoft

My boss generates a report of statistics and charts each month for management. However, he's away at the moment and before he left he said "Peter, I want you to do the monthly report on the 25th" (or words to that effect).

So today, I spent the whole day messing around with Excel and Word. Lots of cutting/pasting/pivoting/charting. Using these Microsoft products is like using Lego bricks to build a skyscraper. It was brutal! And I didn't get it finished.


Someone I'd never heard of decided to get married, so we got cake...


Cochlear employees eating cake


Today a guy came and told me that we are getting a Uni student on work experience for six months starting next week. This was news to all of us. The other guys immediately began scheming about all the work we can offload onto the poor sucker.


HTML Hacker

When I arrived home there was an HTML hacker in the living room...

I spent the next hour or two unhacking the HTML. Readers familiar with HTML will appreciate my situation by examination of this code example...

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Monday, January 24th 2005

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The coffee truck was non-operational today. I had to make coffee by hand!


The turnout for Table Tennis today was very low. I was therefore forced to play seven games in a row. There are no stats available on whether this is a Cochlear record.

Death of a Microwave

Mother's microwave oven has reached the end of its life. The bottom has rusted to the point where a hole has appeared and the dangling shards of metal appear to be shorting something.

A bright arc is visible through this hole when the device is turned on and it produces a burning smell!

I will take Mother to buy a new one in the next couple of days.


When I got home there was a blogger in the living room...

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Sunday, January 23rd 2005

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I scanned Mother's art works and took the originals and two sets of copies around to her place.

Here is the latest collection...

She had painted a second dog. It seems she is developing a characteristic dangling tongue in her dog pictures.

Dog 1
Dog 2

The artist also showed me a work in progress and her tools of the trade...


Yuko wants to be able to drive to Keiko's place in the near future, so I gave her a lesson today in how to get there. While in the area, we decided to explore Balmain a bit.

Balmain Street

Balmain Dogs

We decided to eat at Sushi Man.

Balmain Sushi

It was a nice place with an informal atmosphere.

Balmain Sushi-Man

Balmain Sushi-Man Woman

Of course, it's not a genuine Japanese place. Even I could spot the fact that they were Korean by the way they spelled "Gyoza". This is because Koreans have difficulty pronouncing "S" and "Z" sounds and tend to pronounce these sounds like "J".

It's Korean for "Gyoza"

The other giveaway was that they didn't speak Japanese. However, my teriyaki was quite nice.

Sushi-Man Chicken

From Message
Lady Macbeth
6205 Days Ago
I love 'Mother's' dogs - am wondering if she would paint my old darling dog from a picture as she's no longer with me? Unfortunately she hasn't got a dangling tongue (in the picture - my dog I mean), but I know she did have one at times so wouldn't mind if Mother finds it a necessity when painting her.

From Message
6205 Days Ago
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and owlet's wing,
Wombat's rib and bilby's ball,
Mother's brush doth paint them all!

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Saturday, January 22nd 2005

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Garage Sale

Yuko spotted this sign while out on her walk yesterday...


This morning, we attended the Monster Sale...


I am not convinced that Monster was the most appropriate adjective.


Yuko tried a new thing for breakfast; Eggs and green things...

There are now two unsecured wireless networks available at Epitome. However, only one appears to be "good".

DVD Semi-Debacle

A few days ago I used my $100 Myer voucher which was Cochlear's Christmas gift to employees. I bought the Seinfeld DVDs which, after a discount came to just under $100 for two boxed sets. However, they were not in stock so I had to wait for them to come in. Then yesterday they called me and said the merchandise had arrived. So today I went over to Myer at Macquarie Centre to pick them up.

When I got there, it emerged that only one of the two boxes I ordered had arrived! Stupid bastards!

Anyway, I took the first set of discs home. I particularly like the subtitled comments which educate the viewer on important subjects such as modern history...

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Friday, January 21st 2005

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Cochlear Turns Green

A former Cochlear employee, who has on occasion posted comments to this blog, told me that when he was at Cochlear it was a very non-green company. However, the greenness of Cochlear seems to be improving a little...

Weightlifting in Riverview

Just across the road from the Noswonky residence, a weightlifting venue has sprung up...

Yuko's Walk

Yuko went for a walk and saw...

A wedding party loitering down at Tambourine Bay.

The Bride

The tidal swimming pool

This odd sign has been there for many years. I've always wondered why they decided to put the last bit in quotes. The exclamation mark also seems a bit excessive.


The weather was conducive to sitting outside on a balcony, so we did that at Epitome.

Diners at various restaurants in the plaza tell their children to leaver them in peace and go and play in the gazebo...

Pre-hoons in the gazebo

The longish chip

The tree visible behind me in the picture above is where a flock of lorikeets (and possibly other birds) sleeps. At about sunset, they all fly in and begin having very loud conversations.

Birds flying to the tree

More birds flying to the tree

Lorikeets compensate for their visual beauty by their vocal ugliness. A tree full of them is a terrible sound indeed! And as the tree is quite close to the balcony, the sound was extremely loud. I attempted to photograph the errant avians...

Photographing birds

We observed that the lorikeets seemed to be in pairs throughout the tree. Yuko said they must be having sex.

A Pair of Birds

Then we had dessert...

Sticky Date

From Message
Laughing Mole
6207 Days Ago
Not content with hot naked fat chicks, how do we know you're not just trying to bump up your score some more for those Googling for birds, sex and sticky dates?

From Message
6207 Days Ago
I have never claimed otherwise.

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Thursday, January 20th 2005

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Mother invited us to go to her house and eat a happy chicken. So we did.

After we had eaten the happy chicken, she asked me to open the jar containing the dessert...

However, some other creatures got there first...

Colony enjoys out dessert

We had apples instead...

Mother then showed me an old photo which I don't remember seeing before. It's me receiving a TAFE certificate a long, long time ago...


At 10:30pm, it hailed a bit. The stones seemed to be of moderate size, so I went out to close the umbrella. However, it subsided after a couple of minutes.

Bad Pixie (III)

The Pixie guy posted an apology in their forum...

Dear Valued Customers,

First of all, I would like to begin by apologizing to everyone for the decline in our service in the past couple of months. All these times, I have been out of the loop for awhile taking care moving and other family issues. I left the company to my partner but I guess that didn't work out well. Our moving plan to Texas location has not been as smooth as I thought it would but we were finally able to complete everything on Monday.

As of today, I am taking over the entire operation again and will start reorganizing our company as soon as possible. The first on my agenda would be taking care of all outstanding issues such as support and billing. The second on my agenda would be checking to make sure all servers are updated and running at 100%.

I am open for suggestions, comments, and concerns by contacting me on our forums.

Again I would like to apologize for everything and I would like to assure you that we are not closing our door. I hope that this reorganizing will take pixiehost to where we are before and perhaps to the next level. More notification will be send with status on where we at in the next few days.


Roy K
Pixie Internet Services

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Wednesday, January 19th 2005

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Bad Pixie (II)

Pixie was still down in the morning. At work I tried to submit a support request and got this...

Pixie's user friendly support

I was beginning to think Pixie was going the was of the Dodo. However, at about lunch time, it started working again. I checked my visitor stats and, as expected my visitor numbers plummeted on Tuesday...


And on the subject of Internet outages, Keiko reported that her ISP went off-line recently too. She called them for support and had to wait on the line for two hours before she got to talk to someone. Then they told her they were just about to go home for the day, and to email them a description of the problem...

Poor Keiko!

She changed to a new ISP!


Birthdays at Cochlear are deemed to occur on a particular date each month. This month, birthdays were deemed to occur today. So Cochlear celebrated my birthday...

Black Forrest

From Message
The Happy Birthday Well Wisher
6210 Days Ago
Happy Birthday

From Message
6210 Days Ago
Thank you Well Wisher. Happy birthday to you too.

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Tuesday, January 18th 2005

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Bad Pixie (I)

Last night, my web host Pixie Host crashed. I had just written the blog for Monday and was trying to upload it and things were getting very very slow! And then it died completely.

I had a look at the user forums on their site and there were lots of users complaining that their web sites were down and they couldn't get any response from the support staff. There were a lot of unhappy campers.

By this evening it was still down and I decided to take action. I only moved to this server a few months ago, and fortunately, I had not yet cancelled my old account with the previous host. So I had the bright idea to move back to the old host.

The old host was still working fine, so I proceeded to upload a bunch of files to it...


It took a while, and a lot of messing around, but I got the main page and the blog working on the old host. However, the site had a different address, so I still needed to move the domain "" to the old server. That's when my brilliant plan fell to pieces.

I needed the DNS info for the old server. So I went to their help pages and found the FAQ and there was a link that said "Click here for our DNS info". So I clicked it and it said Upgrade in progress - this page is unavailable.

So I thought, "Ok, I'll just use the domain registrar's DNS servers and point my domain at the old server".

So I logged on to my registrar (Network Solutions) and moved my domain to their DNS...

Changing your domain name server is not fun

No problem.

Then I found the IP address of the old host and put the numbers in the box to point at the old host. Of course it takes a day or two for this change to propagate, but I figured I'd better get the wheels in motion in case Pixie was out of action for a long time.

Then I realised that my plan was a complete crock! The problem is that the host I was moving to was using a shared IP address. This means that I was pointing my domain, not at my site, but at a server with lots of other user's sites too!

The result would be that visitors to "" would land at the web host's main page - this one, rather than my page!

So I undid all the changes and put it all back the way it was and went to bed in disgust.

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Monday, January 17th 2005

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Cochlear Story

Today I was told a story of a Cochlear Implant user who was abused by a guy in the street, who didn't believe that the thing on his ear was not a new high-tech MP3 player. The guy accused the implant user of being a snob for refusing to reveal the details of the player.

I think Cochlear should make a deal with Apple and build an implantable iPod.


My earphone broke...

But it still works.

Pizza Non-Debacle

After the pizza debacle of last week, we decided to try again. Yuko confirmed that Capitano's at North Sydney is now open, so we grabbed Mother and went. This time we succeeded in acquiring and eating pizza...


After leaving Capitano's we decided to go down to Kirribilli to shout abuse at John Howard. However, on the way we were distracted by the big ball hanging off the Harbour Bridge, and decided to take pictures of it instead.

Yuko photographs the big ball

The big ball

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Sunday, January 16th 2005

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Hacker in Training

I taught Yuko some hacking techniques... better not say any more...


Painted Animal

Mother has done some more paintings which she wants me to scan and copy. I went around to her place to pick them up this afternoon. One is a painting of Bill and Eila's dog...

Dog (live)
Dog (painted)

Live Animal

Mother reports that she has a BTL living in her garden. We hope it does not meet the same fate as the below-mentioned rodent (if it hasn't already). I don't have a photo of this animal, so here is a representation of what it may look like...

BTL (assumed live)

Dead Animal

Mother also reported the discovery of a dead rat on her back steps, left there no doubt by someone with a scroe to settle. Unfortunately, she had already disposed of the corpse, depriving you, the humble reader, from viewing the rodent's mortal remains. However, this is what it may have looked like...

Rat (assumed dead)

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Saturday, January 15th 2005

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There was a second insecure wireless network available at Epitome today. I was able to connect to both networks, but neither provided internet access.

The Old and the New

At Lane Cove, Belinda met one of her ralatives; perhaps a great aunt...

Chicken (buying)

We bought some stuff for dinner from two philosophically differring shops. The first is the shop where, on Christmas eve, I was involved in a dispute over the definition of "a whole chicken".

Unhealthy Food Shop

Health Food Shop

There were some Rotary dudes in the plaza and Yuko started taking pictures of the banners on display. One of them offered to take our picture and then demanded money for this service.

Picture taken by Rotary Dude

Yuko dropped some money in their bucket which was for the Tsunami appeal.

Rotary Dudes

Chicken (eating)

It was hot again today, so we ate out on the back patio. The healthy and unhealthy foods were combined in a pleasing manner.

After dinner I took Fifi out on the patio and did some perl coding for a couple of hours. I wrote a new improved script for summarising the hits to Yuko's blog.

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Friday, January 14th 2005

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Today was like an oven - not a microwave, but a conventional oven with a glass door and the light on.

However, in the evening a storm moved over Sydney and it became more like a dishwasher.

Yuko and I ate dinner outside under our big umbrella with the rain puring down. Dinner was spaghetti and beer...

The umbrella is not fully waterproof so we could feel a light mist of droplets falling on us.

Sarcophilus Harrisii

Last night we saw a program in which two American guys who were dressed in black robes, obtained a dead wallaby and chanted...

"Sarcophilus Satanicus!
Sarcophilus Satanicus!
Sarcophilus Satanicus!"

...while a pack of Tasmanian Devils tore the flesh from the bones of the wallaby and gorged themselves. A very entertaining program indeed!

Tasmanian Devil

Yuko had thought that the Tasmanian Devil was extinct, but of course it's the animal on our beer that is thought by some to be extinct.

Tasmanian Tiger

But of course, we all know it's not.

Flouters of the Epiphany

Our neighbours are blatantly flouting the Epiphany by having their Christmas lights on tonight...


Must we share this Earth with barbarians?

Note 1: does not condone the drinking of alcohol by miners.

Note 2: condones the ripping of flesh from the bones of dead wallabies.

From Message
Laughing Mole
6215 Days Ago does not condone the drinking of alcohol by miners.

Neither does the Kentucky Department of Mines and Minerals.

By Grabthar's hammer, what a savings.

From Message
6215 Days Ago
One day as I was coming out of the bottle shop, a guy in a hard-hat and gas-mask approached me. He said "hi, it's me" and lifted his gas mask to reveal his face. However, I didn't recognise him. He then moved closer, lowered his voice and, thrusting a wad of cash in my direction, asked if I would buy some alcohol for him. He didn't want to be seen buying it himself lest his employer find out. I said "what is your job?" He told me that he was employed in the minerals and enery sector. I asked him point blank: "Are you a miner?" He reluctantly confessed, and I chastised him heartily. I lectured him at length on the dangers of alcohol abuse for workers in subterranean environments. As he walked away he turned and vowed to wreak terrible vengance against me and my kind - those who do not condone the drinking of alcohol by miners.

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Thursday, January 13th 2005

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Dog Tag

When I was leaving for work, I realised I didn't have my dog tag. I didn't remember if I'd had it when I got home yesterday and I couldn't find it in the house. When I arrived at work, a quick check around the floor quickly bore fruit...

Dog tag lies on the lab floor beside the ankle-strap tester plate

The catch was stuck open. It must have slipped off yesterday while I was donning an ankle strap.

Without this dog tag, I could easily get lost and nobody would know how to find my owner


The Pawel Rej Memorial Tournament #1, ended some time ago, but I only got around to posting the results last night. I spent a significant amount of time updating the web pages to bring everything up to date.

It took 19 months to finish a tournament with nine players. Now, I'm wondering whether I'm up for organising another tournament; maybe with players from Cochlear.

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Wednesday, January 12th 2005

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Media Contacts Noswonky

When I arrived at work there was a message on my voice-mail from Olga Galacho of the Herald Sun newspaper asking for a comment on the situation in the US. She also referred to me as "Viktoria" which is not my name! I declined to comment.

A close examination of the internal phone directory later revealed that there is someone called Viktoria whose phone extension is only one digit different from mine!

Anyway, Ms. Galacho managed to write something without my help under the headline US break for Cochlear.

Beer now. And Always.

Something else good happened for Cochlear (which I'm not sure if I can mention so I won't), so beer and nibblies appeared at 4.30pm.

I partook only of a lemon soft-drink and some nibblies and then debarked back to my desk. However, the drinking continued on the upper level and I could hear through the hole in the ceiling that greater and greater rabble was being roused.

Rabble rouser

I left well before the drinking games started.

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Tuesday, January 11th 2005

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I had a traumatic experience this morning when the coffee truck drove right past me without stopping. I was shocked and appalled as I watched the vehicle disappear out of sight. However, within a minute it returned. The guy said he'd had a mental blackout and had just forgotten to make his usual stop.

I reminded him of his responsibilities to the coffee-drinking public, and expressed the wish that a gruesome accident would not befall his mother.

Leaf Thief

I met a leaf thief, just returned from one of her escapades...

The unknown leaf thief

Mystery Bag

When I got home from work there was a mysterious bag hanging over our fence...

Dangling Bag

Later in the evening, it had fallen onto the grass. As we are on hostile terms with our neighbours, we didn't examine the bag lest it be an explosive device sent by our neighbours to destroy us.

Fallen Bag

Pizza Debacle

We decided to go to the Pizza restaurant at North Sydney with Mother. However, when called to book we just got a fax machine answering. Their card says they're open seven days, so we went anyway. But as we drove past, we could see that it was closed! No pizza for us!

Plan "B" was Taiki, the Japanese restaurant which I did not recommend to Danny the Dog... but it's close.

They gave me a mutant chopstick pillow...

Normal pillow (left) vs. mutant pillow.

... but other than that we had an exremely adequate time - but it wasn't pizza!

Mother bought a pair of prescription sunglasses at a second hand shop. Yuko tried them on...

We then went home and ate Christmas cake and ice cream until the cows came home.

Marie Crashes

Mother told us that Marie, who was featured in this blog on Saturday, was injured on Monday when she fell in the street while walking.

Poor Marie!

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Monday, January 10th 2005

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The TT net at Cochlear has been broken for a while, so I dug out my collection of old nets to find a replacement.

An adequate net was installed and I then played TT for the first time this year.

Noswonky is not in this picture

Later, another player turned up with a brand new net, rendering my efforts irrelevant.


I saw someone on TV called Mr. Mole. Any relation?

Man and Mole

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Sunday, January 9th 2005

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Fat Naked Sisters

Looking at my hit logs, I've noticed that I get a lot of hits from people doing searches, particularly using the Yahoo Search Engine. The interesting thing is what they're searching for. The most common searches are:

"naked sisters"
"fat and naked"
"naked twins"
"drunk and naked"

But why do these searches lead people to my Blog????

So I went to Yahoo Search, chose "Images" and typed "naked sisters", purely for research purposes of course. It turns out that this search returns a link to my blog in the number one ranked position!

Yes, it's true! The top-ranked image was indeed taken by me and was posted to this blog.

The reason is that back in May 2004 I posted an innocent entry about the Jerry Springer Show in which I mentioned fat naked twin sisters. See it here.

Of course, the relevant entry has long since scrolled off the front page of the blog, meaning that the people who do the search and find this page don't see the picture they're looking for. To placate those visitors, I have placed a link near the top of the page to re-direct them to the appropriate blog entry.

To try the Yahoo search, click here.

Note: The images found by this search are all "G" or "PG" rating.

Bloodbourne Pathogens

As part of my job I come into contact with materials which have been removed from living human bodies and may contain Bloodbourne Pathogens. Although we put the items through a decontamination process, the company still advises us to get vaccinations against any diseases which can be transmitted by human blood and tissue. Of course the company pays for it.

So today I went up to the Medical Centre at Chatswood to see my doctor about getting the shots.

I had thought it would be pretty quiet on a Sunday, but I was wrong. The place was packed and the receptionist said there was a two hour wait to see any of the doctors! They said that it's like that every day because a lot of other centres are still closed for the holidays.

I aborted the plan and went to look at gadgets.

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Saturday, January 8th 2005

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Naked Blogger

Yuko is close to breaking into the top twenty in the Japanese Blog Rankings. So this morning she was too busy blogging to put clothes on...


We went to see Marie to conduct a business transaction which I am not at liberty to discuss.

Marie's house

Yuko liked Marie's bonsai collection...


Then I assised her with some IT issues.

Marie's Computer Room

Marie and Max


In the evening I watched a documentary about Roy Orbison, in which I heard this...

"It was effortless for him, but it wasn't without effort."

    - k.d. lang (on Roy Orbison)

Quite profound... or is it just stupid?

From Message
6221 Days Ago
I've always thought a 'blog' was something you MIGHT accidentally tread on in a muddy paddock - now I think it's something you SHOULD tread on wherever it is!! Just joking - but you could have let me go to wardrobe & make-up first!! As to the k.d.lang quote - it would not be without effort for me to think about it, so I'll effortlessly agree with Lady Macbeth and 'consider it not too deeply'.

From Message
6220 Days Ago
You are probably confusing 'blog' with 'glob'.

As for Lady Mac... I hope you are not going to model your life too closely on hers.

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Friday, January 7th 2005

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In the evening we went to Bardeli's at Woolwich for dinner. This was the first time we'd been there in the evening.

The food was very nice. Yuko gave them 4 stars.

Being a pedant, I must draw attention to a sentence on the menu which I believe contains three English mistakes (excluding the omission of the full stop).

Bardeli's at night

After Dinner we waited in the nearby park until 9pm because I vaguely remembered hearing that the light display on the Harbour Bridge occurs on the hour. I did, but it appeared that most of the lights were on the eastern side, and were mostly out of view from our location. Yuko attempted to photograph the view anyway.

We were able to see the Mirror Ball thingy which was illuminated in changing colours. We might go and have a closer look at it another night.

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Epiphany Message

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The Noswonkys wish all nice blog readers a satisfactory Epiphany.

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Thursday, January 6th 2005

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The coffee truck returned


Back to work today (again).

I took Fifi to work and at lunchtime I found an empty cubicle in a quiet corner of the building and did some real work.

Animals Experience Negative Patient Outcomes*


Yesterday one of the fish in the new tank became sick and Yuko moved him to the Fish Hospital. However, today he experienced a negative patient outcome.


While out walking, Yuko also encountered an animal which had experienced a negative outcome.

* "Negative Patient Outcome" is defined in the book Mother gave me yesterday...


At 10:10pm while I was writing this blog entry, we had a blackout. I looked outside and it was so dark that I thought perhaps the whole city was blacked out. However, the radio stations all seemed to be still on-air, (including 2UE which is located quite close to us) so it must have been fairly localised.

I continued blogging.

Blogging by candle-light

Then we thought we'd better drink our stock of sparkling wine while it was still cold.

The power came back on after one hour.

From Message
Laughing Mole
6223 Days Ago
There was a blackout in my world too, which stretched* as far as I could see.** I took the opportunity to look for Comet Machholz and was very excited to find it (with binoculars).

I'd send you a photo of the blackout, but it looks remarkably similar to the one I sent you last time.

* The blackout, not my world.
** Not very far, mind you. ***
*** Except when looking in the direction of Comet Machholz.

From Message
6221 Days Ago
If your world does not stretch as far as you can see, but the blackout did, then it must have been a multi-world blackout.

I think this blackout was darker than the previous one so I'd be interested to see your photo of it.

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Wednesday, January 5th 2005

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To the tune of "Happy Birthday"...

Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday Noswonky,
Happy birthday to me

May I live a hundred years,
May I drink a thousand beers,
I'm a bastard, getting plastered,
Happy birthday to me!

Double Life Busted

Yuko paid by credit card at Epitome and accidentally allowed Mari to see the name on the card. Mari was very excited to discover Yuko's real name at last. She promised not to tell anyone.


As we haven't been to Epitome on a weekday for a long time, we've missed listening to the Jazz Band. Today they accompanied our breakfast once again.

Birthday Presents

I got some stuff...

Yuko's gift

Yuko gave me this nice shirt. Photo by Mari

Mother's gift. A book of stuff spoken by weasels.

Anonymous blog reader's gift. A stone which I had to pick it up from the yard myself.


Yuko and Mother took me to lunch at the Bather's Pavilion at Balmoral Beach.

Bather's Pavilion

Then we went home and had cake, which Mother had made from Betty's recipe.

From Message
6224 Days Ago
You got lots of presents!! You have a good taste of stone too.

From Message
Laughing Mole
6224 Days Ago
It's an ant thing.

From Message
6224 Days Ago

From Message
Laughing Mole
6223 Days Ago
That's right - lots of them, actually. But it isn't a grasshopper thing.

From Message
6223 Days Ago
I believe the "ant thing" is used in the measurement of very small angles, particularly in astronomy.

ATP = Ant Thing Parsec - The angle subtended by an ant thing when viewed from a distance of one parsec (3.26 light years).

From Message
Laughing Mole
6223 Days Ago
An ant thing at a parsec might look like this when viewed through a suitably high-powered telescope. (Your's is rounder but this one has more character.)

From Message
Danny the Dog
6221 Days Ago
I need a japanese restaurant recommendation in Sydney. Needs to be as japanese as can be, but still tolerating of gaijins.

From Message
6220 Days Ago
Well, in the city we like Akaneya. Note that although the address is Kent St. the entrance is actually in King St. They used to have their own web site which I think was but it seems to be offline now.

If you want to spend a tad more money, then Rengaya at North Sydney is quite Japanesy. You can cook your own bbq at the table or just order cooked dishes. We haven't been there for a while, but as I remember they serve pretty big portions so it's good for the extra hungry.

For sushi, my Japanese advisor says it has to be Pontocho at Neutral Bay, which I have mentioned many times in this blog. Their non-sushi stuff is good too. The young sushi chef with the funny ear is the owner. They have recently started a "Japanese Yum Cha" at lunchtime, but we haven't tried it.

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Tuesday, January 4th 2005

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Back to Work

Today I went back to work. As can be seen from the image above, there was no coffee.

I had to wear the bunny suit again. Last time I wore it, it was really just because the FDA was there and we had to look like we were being extra cautious. But today, for the first time, I actually wore the suit for real, with the addition of face-mask, goggles and surgical gloves. The task takes about an hour and the three of us take turns doing it once every couple of weeks.

This is the picture from last time without the mask, goggles and gloves

Several times today when signing reports, I wrote the date as 4/Jan/04. I had to reprint the soiled pages. It takes a while to get used to 05.


One day back at work is plenty. So from tomorrow I'm on annual leave!


It appears I still have a web page on the CISRA intranet! It's at . I wonder what it looks like, having not been maintained for some time!

From Message
6225 Days Ago
Happy Birthday!! Please pick up a stone you like in your yark as a present fro yourself. Thsi entry should be posted for Wednesday, but I could not find a entry for it. You could adjust it if you want.

From Message
6225 Days Ago
Thank you for your bithday wishes. I will select a very nice stone for myself and post a picture here later.

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Monday, January 3rd 2005

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Yuko bought seven fish...

The new tank now has three big fish, while the rest were distributed

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Sunday, January 2nd 2005

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We went to the pet shop because Yuko wanted to buy some stuff to get her new tank set up. She will buy the fish tomorrow.

The owners of the shop

It was then my task to set up the tank with the air pump and castle.

The Phantom

We went to see the movie version of Phantom of the Opera with Mother.

The theatre at Cremorne

It's the story of a guy who looks like Mel Brooks who buys an opera theatre with his mate and the two of them then start poncing around singing and making fools of themselves.

Meanwhile, a guy with an asymmetry facial problem, pretends to be a ghost so that he can get free seats at the opera.

But when they tell him he needs a valid ticket regardless of his spiritual status, he goes postal and trashes the place.

We all thought the film was pretty good but a tad long and slow in parts. We also thought the ghost guy wasn't half ugly enough... or rather half of him wasn't ugly enough.

Minor characters

After the movie we went to Ponto Cho for dinner. Mother wanted to pay but we didn't allow her, so she made a rude gesture.

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Happy New Year...

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...from the Noswonkys to all nice blog readers.

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Saturday, January 1st 2005

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Sex On The Beach

As Epitome was open on Christmas day and Boxing day, I assumed they would be open today. But alas not!

So Yuko suggested we go to the Hog's Breath at Collaroy.

Collaroy Beach

The Hog

Inside the Hog

We sat out on the balcony. The awning was broken so we had to sit in the corner up against a wall to be out of the sun. However, we had a view of the ocean and it was very pleasant.


The Drinks Menu

I noticed this item on the menu...

We didn't ask for this, but I imagine one has to be rather careful when ordering it.

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